Friday, October 27, 2006
do you sometimes see someone who you think is supposed to be more important in your life, less important? i think its because we take advantage of the thought that that someone will always be there and never feel upset or disappointed. but, its not true to say that, because its funny how some of us just dont show how we feel. and because we think its alright to disappoint the person who acts like their alright with it, they suddenly become less important because we get so tangled and caught up in people who demand more and show how they want you to treat them. so what do we do? too much emotion and we get blacklisted for being petty or annoying or clingy. and being ALRIGHT with everything makes you less important. so what should we be? i wanna be important, so important that nothing else matters and nothing else comes first. but thats selfish. maybe i wanna be selfish? but i know i cant be selfish, because im not the only one on this godforsaken planet! maybe its better to live alone on mars? i can live off mars bars! no kid! if only there was a planet called snickers. alright, whatever, but it all makes sense doesnt it? i mean, everyone wants to be important, but selfish people get to feel more important! ok wait maybe it doesnt make any sense at all. IT AINT FAIR! selfless people are not important because.. well.. their SELFLESS! i wanna be important but i duwanna be selfish. how?
are you who you wanna be?
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? it's not on the calendar, it's not a birthday, it's not a new year. it's an event, big or small, something that changes us. ideally, that gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world, a way of letting go of old habits, old memories. what's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning, but it's also important to remember that, amid all the crap, there are a few things worth holding on to.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
GRAD DAYYYY 2oo6
LOL WTF.
meet my malaysian friend.
...
haha. my halal + indian classmates
my 5 year childhood -- siti jasmin and HTTTTTT
brandettaaaaa. muahahaha.
LOL. ht and siti shorter than mrs pang?
ah pek
ms buganeish!
MAMA!
LOLLOLOLOLL.laugh at it.
we love thuuuyyyyyyyy!!!!
xiao huaaaaaaaa!
.... im very hardworking. yes. --
there are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads. the choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. and, of course when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back. but, once in a while, people push onto something better. something found just beyond the pain of going it alone. and just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in. or to give someone a second chance. something beyond the quiet persistence of a dream. because, it's only when you're tested that you truly discover who you are. and, it's only when you're tested that you discover who you can be. the person you want to be does exist; somewhere on the other side of hard work and faith and belief. and, beyond the heartache and fear of what lies ahead.
Friday, October 20, 2006
superstition lies in the space between what we can control and what we can't. find a penny, pick it up, all day long you'll have good luck. no one wants to pass up a chance for good luck. but does saying it 33 times really help? is anyone actually listening? why do we bother doing those strange things? we rely on superstitions because we're smart enough to know we don't have all the answers.. and that life works in mysterious ways. don't diss the juju, from wherever it comes.
you know as well as i do it's not about what you look like, or your job, or how successful you are. it's about having people in your life that you love and who love you... that's all that matters.
Monday, October 16, 2006
HELLOOO EARTHLINGS!
ok im rather bored cause apparently i skipped school, AGAIN! haha i cant help it. its too tempting. i mean reasons not to go were overpowering the reasons to go!(ok well maybe there were'nt even reasons to go because well.. im sucha lazy ass.) ok ANYWAYS, i mean, we dont even do shit in school. so whats the point!!!!! plus the major thing keeping me away from school is having to wake at ungodly hours. haha, ok so.................... 2 weeks to O's right, and honestly? I HAVENT BEEN 'REALLY' STUDYING! and i know im pretty much screwed. ever having to wake up each morning worrying about something you have a choice to do but NOT doing? YA thats pretty much it, and the voice inside me is screaming, im sure if you stand next to me you can hear it too. and its killing me!!!
this sucks really. i think its better not to live that long. dont you? the more you live, the more you see, the more pain your feel. no doubt there will be happiness along the way, but it comes with a price tag, and i bet you that doesnt come cheap. plus with the universe getting so twisted, we're killing ourseleves. like how we're polluting our air by burning the damn trees. or like how we get so tied up in work we neglect the most important things in our life. and when we lose it, we blame everything and anything else, but ourseleves. there comes a time where we just need to literally sit back and relax you know? this world's running too fast where sooner or later, we're gonna hurt our own feet.
ok much talk. i think i need to be really acting out what i say. lets just hope i can.
geography? physics? bio? social studies? what? study? what is study?
--
you ever look at a picture of yourself and see a stranger in the background? it makes you wonder how many strangers have pictures of you, how many moments of other peoples lives have we been in, we're we a part of someone's life when their dreams came true, or were we there when their dreams died. did we keep trying to get in, as if we were somehow destined to be there, or did the shot take us by surprise. just think, you could be a big part of someone else's life, and not even know it.
-good news for people who love bad news
time shows us that all that ever mattered leaves us in the cold. if you ever believe this is what you need it will spin around and shatter throw you to the floor.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
O! man u won 3-1 last night to wigan! HAHA. eat that bindippers(liverpool btw. lol.). i think this pic is hilarious la. haha. the ref was being a total jackass la. penalty and like 3492374525 fouls NOT given! well like they say, cheating gets you no where! nd nd smells of rooney's come back! can you see me smiling from ear to ear? hah! micheal carrick disappeared after giggs came on, really not worth the money AF! nd oo, really cant deny that the first goal was AN ABSOLUTE SCREAMERRRRRRRRR!(baines!) salute really, man u can never do that. uhh maybe la. haha. (got to give wigan a teeny bit of credit as well right? i mean, they really defended like mad during the first 45'. ehh.. maybe not so much cs man utd polluted the field with their stench.) anyways, im overzealous really, cs man utd won and liverpool drew which means they lose their 100% home record. HAAHHAHA!!!! 'Anyone who has concerns over Wayne Rooney doesn't know the game. ' -- Paul Jewell
--
as friends, as human beings, we all try to do the best we can. but the world is full of unexpected twists and turns. just when you've gotten the lay of the land, the ground underneath you shifts. it knocks you off your feet. if youre lucky, you end up with nothing more than a flesh wound, something a band-aid will cover. but some wounds are deeper than they first appear, and require more than just a quick fix. with some wounds, you have to rip of the band-aid, let them breathe and give them time to heal.
lying is a necessity. we lie to ourselves because the truth.. the truth hurts like hell.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
how we keep our secrets; well, that's a little different. one thing is certain, whatever it is we're trying to hide; we're never ready for that moment when the truth gets naked. that's the problem with secrets; like misery, they love company. they pile up and up until they take over everything, until you don't have room for anything else, until you're so full of secrets you feel like you're going to burst.
the thing people forget is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets free. whether good or bad, at least they're out in the open, like it or not. and once your secrets are out in the open, you don't have to hide behind them anymore. the problem with secrets is even when you think you're in control, you're not.
but wouldn't it be very much better if it'd all be truth and no lies, and no secrets? with secrets, it feels like you're choking, and your fighting for air that you're not recieving. and it seems like you can't be who you are, because to cover up for your secrets, you have to act like someone else, someone you're not. and if that happens alot, you tend to lose yourself along the way. and when you finally realise, do you try to find yourself and free the burden in you even though it feels hella wrong and a big mistake to do so? or you skip a whole chapter of your life?
it turns out, sometimes you have to do the wrong thing. sometimes you have to make a big mistake to figure out how to make things right. the stakes are painful. but they're the only way to find out who you really are.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
every storm brings with it hope that somehow by morning, everything will be made clean again. and even the most troubling stains will have disappeared. like the doubts over his innocence or the consequence of his mistake. like the scars of his betrayal or the memory of his kiss. so we wait for the storm to pass hoping for the best even though we know in our hearts some stains are so indelible, nothing can wash them away.
sometimes walking away can be the best and certainly the safest, but what if you find someone that makes you feel joy you thought you never would again, do you just let them go?
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
it's easy to suggest a quick solution, when you don't know much about the problem or you don't understand the underlying cause or just how deep the wound is. the first step toward a real cure is to know exactly what the disease is to begin with. but that's not what people want to hear. we're supposed to forget the past that led us here, ignore the future complications that might arise and go for the quick fix.
actions really speak louder than words, today showed me just that.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
at any given moment, the brain has 14 billion neurons firing at a speed of 450 miles per hour. we don't have control over most of them. when we get a chill... goose bumps. when we get excited... adrenaline. the body naturally follows it's impulses, which I think is part of what makes it so hard for us to control ours. of course, sometimes we have impulses we would rather not control, that we later wish we had. the body is a slave to it's impulses. but the thing that makes us human is what we can control. after the storm, after the rush, after the heat of the moment has passed, we can cool off and clean up the messes we made. we can try to let go of what was.
yes and if your reading this, i love you bunches baby.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
whats with people burning the greens in indonesia! bloody hell, as if their air's not polluted enough! wanna pollute the air do a better job la. only 150 more before schools may be closed. i think another 150 should be nothing rights?
exams been kinda choking lately. just contemplating about what might happen when i recieve my results slip really is a reason to panic! i feel like ive been plunging down this never ending slide, and its going so fast its almost impossible to stop. time is ticking away so quickly and before we even know it we're out there facing the world all on our own. well, 3 weeks is it? to major major majorrr exams! havent been studying really, well sort of. i really really cant concentrate!(well thanks to season 4 one tree hill, season 3 desperate housewives, and the tv basically! im sucha homo for tv. whatever that means!) crap. i keep saying this but ive been doing nothing really to counter it. haha, guess part of me just wants to be a lazy bum and do nothing. someone take a giant whatever and knock some sense into me please! because i keep telling myself the time is now and im not doing shit!
Friday, October 06, 2006
let it all out. get it all out. rip it out remove it. but dont be alarmed when the wound begins to bleed. cause we're so scared to find out, what that life's all about. so scared we're gonna lose it. not knowing all along, its exactly what we need. and you said i know that this will hurt, but if the burden seems too much to bear, remember the end will justify the pain it took to get us there. and i'll let it be known, at times i have shown, signs of all my weakness. and you promise me, that you believe, in time i will defeat this. cause somewhere in me, there is strength. and today i will trust you with the confidence, of a person who's never known defeat, and i'll try my best to just forget, that person isn't me. and i know you know you touched my life when you touched my heavy heart and made it light.
you shine brighter than anyone.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
im just a someone in a place somewhere in the world. maybe its alot like your world. maybe its nothing like it. but if you look closer you might see someone like you. someone trying to find their way. someone trying to find their place. someone trying to find their self. sometimes it seems like you're the only one in the world. who's struggling, who's frustrated. and unsatisfied or barely getting by. but that feeling's a lie. and if you just hold on, just find the courage to face it all for another day. someone or something will find you and make it all okay. because we all need a little help sometimes, someone to help us hear the music in the world. to remind us that it wont always be this way. that someone is out there, and that someone will find you.
and i i've got you.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
everything inside you know, theres more than what you've heard. theres so much more than empty conversations filled with empty words. when everything inside me looks like everything i hate, you are the hope i have for change. you are the only chance i'll take.
and i promise i can love you like nobody can.